Egg-stravaganza!

A Damned Good Teacher
3 min readNov 14, 2020

--

The first thing I heard across the airwaves this morning was an call from a TA who was on gate duty. Robbie had climbed over the gate to get into school. Crazy, right? You’d think that climbing out of the school would be more likely but this is in fact the third time this week Robbie had demonstrated his climbing skills. I should clarify that this is an eight foot fence and climbing it is no mean feat. The problem was that Robbie didn’t want to hand his phone in but he did want to come into school.

It went from bad to worse for Robbie. He came into the classroom and was asked to do some work. I know, I can hear the echo of ‘how unreasonable’ from my readers. Robbie started to pace around the room. He likes to do circuits of the class. Not to be deterred, every time he passed I fired out a question for him to answer and we started to find our rhythm. Unfortunately Robbie spotted Derek, working away on his laptop on the floor in the corner of the room. Every time he passed he stamped loudly on the floor near Derek to make him jump and to intimidate him. I should point out that I suspect Robbie suffers from an acute case of ‘little man syndrome’, trying to make up for his short stature in the magnitude of his actions. Despite our best efforts at redirecting Robbie in terms of route and/ or behaviour eventually Derek snapped and leapt up to kick Robbie. It was a half hearted attempt but he did make contact and chaos erupted; tables were flipped, language was both loud and colourful but eventually the episode came to an end with Robbie storming out of the room followed my saint of a TA.

The second call across the airwaves was slightly more amusing at first. “Persephone is on the loose around school and armed with a dozen eggs.” I chuckled quietly under my breath although I soon quietened down as I heard her approach my room. Thankfully she didn’t gain entry but in her frustration at failing she lauched several eggs at the wall outside my classroom door. The third call was slightly more frantic — please deny Persephone access to purple corridor. Little did we know that she had actually floored a teacher and caused a head injury. I was at the rear of school at this point and turned to go in with Cedric, the boy I was supervising, and found myself eye to eye with Persephone. In a split second she grabbed at my lanyard wrenching it off me and jerking my neck sharply forward in doing so. She had about thirty seconds of freedom before the fob was de-activated and she moved more quickly than she had ever done in any PE lesson. Through the first ‘locked’ door and the second. She anticipated a teacher in her way of the third and executed a couple of sharp kicks to the shin before hurrying through that door too. The next door emitted three loud beeps as she tried to gain access, indicating that the fob had, indeed, been de-activated. The fun was not quite over yet as she still had a couple of dozen eggs to launch which she fired into the music room. Not quite sure what to do next she kicked a few doors, although this became more like a half hearted attempt whilst she came to terms with the fact that her rampage was coming to an end.

--

--

A Damned Good Teacher

A teacher with the patience of a saint, a good sense of humour, oodles of forgiveness and a healthy dose of common sense.